The Light – MyThirdPlace

The Light – MyThirdPlace

The Light. Biblical connotations of clarity, salvation and meaning. That might seem a little dramatic for your local coffee shop, but this particular Third Place sustains many in my oft’ forgotten market-town.

Being uniquely integrated into the cinema, adjacent to the river from which Thetford gets its name, allows for a diverse cross-section of people to be drawn into the cafe. A myriad of boardgames entice those that might want to try their hand at Magic the Gathering, or an array of other games that I fail to comprehend. The delight on the player’s faces, coupled with their enthused conversations, tell me that concrete bonds have formed. Joy and connection are the end-goal. Seems like they’re winning to me.

Cinephiles will arrive for obvious reasons. Thematic re-runs are always in rotation. Bladerunner, The Godfather, Goodfellas. Roger Ebert would be proud. This isn’t a domain that gatekeeps or excludes, however. What use would that be for building community? It’s an institution that caters for all ages, all tastes. A litany of young families come in the hope of entertaining their children, ensuring a gaggle of kids always interact within the arena of the cafe. Their currents of energy buoy those that might be tempted to feel a little more jaded than the average six year old.

Clark Gable and other Hollywood legends plaster the walls, looking to perhaps spark nostalgia in an older demographic. That demographic also comprises an important part of the foot-fall to The Light; bringing their newspapers and more often than not, coins of pound sterling. 

Somewhere, within this mix, my friends and I step in. A few twenty and thirty something’s. Men trying to do their best to challenge endemic issues of isolation and emotional illiteracy that seemed fused to our gender. We sometimes come after a run (on a productive day), occasionally after a hastily eaten Greggs sausage roll. Whatever prelude – we make it a ritual to come on a Saturday. We commiserate with each other about the weeks’ we’ve had. Chalk up the wins and laugh at the losses, consider the artistic merit of various rappers, or just talk – for want of a better word, absolute sh*te. 

We’ve turned to The Light after job losses, relationship failures, and deaths within our respective families. We get a round of flat whites in whilst decrying the state of football, politics, or the inner machinations of the workplace. In essence, it becomes a space separate from the two primary spaces that precede it. It allows another dimension of your personality and identity to be explored. Talking through issues that pervade in the other two spaces may lead to resolving certain situations in a way that seemed untenable before. In the Third Place, you have the gift of distance and the insight of others that are external to the home or workplace.

We all notice its absence. It’s become a cornerstone, a fixture, in maintaining our combined mental health. There are only three of us. That’s enough. Blink-182, the world’s greatest band, are a three-piece. I incorrectly thought that the saying ‘three’s a crowd’ was a positive thing. We all have an intrinsic need to be part of a tribe, a crowd. If conversation momentarily stalls in a one-on-one, there’s always somebody else to laugh and pick up the thread. There’s a sense of ease, balance. Point being – if we are defined by our home, our work, how else are we defined? Our friendships.

This is where the concept of a Third Place becomes even more integral. It can define how we relate to one another, to ourselves. Friends are placed in a unique relational framework from colleagues or family. They may have an insight into our habits and character that we cannot entirely see, and family are less likely to vocalise. They identify these facets and still elect to spend their time with us. That can be incredibly heartening. In fact, it can anchor you to the world. Third Spaces – outside the parameters of the workplace or familial home, are the arena for these bonds to materialise and strengthen. They’re bastions of friendship.

In a society marked by increasing social isolation, fragmented community, and systemic mental health challenges (often driven by these issues) – the need for a Third Place has never been more exigent. A YouGov poll found that one in ten Britons feel that they have no close friends. That is an indictment of our increasingly fractured and work-driven society. A Third Place can help provide the antidote to this ailment.

 Hobbies and interests of all kinds needs to be facilitated and catered for, attracting the widest cross-section of society possible. An inclusive environment needs to be cultivated – with the institution then being adequately marketed and made known amongst the wider community. Connections can then form over these shared passions; in a conducive and warm habitat. The Light excels at all of the above and more. It helps that the coffee is excellent, too. 

To finish on the happy entanglement of friendships and Third Places. It took my mates and I months to realise that what we had been calling The Light was actually the name of the cinema. We finally clocked a secondary sign outside, adorning the windows. Our beloved cafe was known as The Green Room. Our lives were a facade. I understand the links to cinema; Green Room’s being where actors and performers prepare for a show. Still, we felt gutted that we’d have to lose the dramatic connotations our own personal salvation.

On reflection, perhaps a Third Space does both. It integrates you into your community, buoys your  sanity by helping you prepare for whatever role you may have to go on and play in the outside world. For an hour or two, you can cast those engrained associations aside and be free of those responsibilities. Play a game, sip a drink, laugh with your mates. Maybe those kids terrorising The Green Room are onto something…