The Perfect Third Place

With the rise of remote and hybrid working over the last few years, there has also been a decline in our mental health as a nation… and that cannot be a coincidence. 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem of some kind each year in England. 1 in 6 people report experiencing a common mental health problem (like anxiety and depression) in any given week in England. I am, unfortunately, one of those 1 in 4.

My Mental Health Journey

I am very open and honest about my mental health because, quite frankly, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and in speaking out, I am creating a safe space for other people to share their struggles. My mental health issues started after having my first child. I developed post natal depression and didn’t get help for a long time. I was a stay at home mum, lived in a tiny village in Lincolnshire far away from any town or city, and I didn’t drive. After getting help, my mental health slowly but surely got better. We moved to Lincoln and I got a job at a school as a lunch time assistant and cleaner. Then 2020 happened, and lockdown was announced. I knew that my mental health was going to suffer, and boy did it.

COVID 19 And The Birth Of Remote Working

With lockdown in full swing, companies were forced to get people to work from home to keep their business’ afloat and in doing so, we saw a huge rise in work-from-home jobs being created. Homeworking was relatively rare in 1981 when only 1.5% of those in employment reported working mainly at home, but by 2019 it had tripled to 4.7%. By February 2020, that had increased to 5.7% and by April 2020, just as lockdown hit, that rose to a whopping 46.6%.

In 2022, I was offered an administrative position that was, for the most part, working from home bar an in office staff meeting every month. I thought I had hit the jackpot. I got to work from home. For me, there were many upsides to remote working: greater flexibility, better work–life balance, higher productivity and increased motivation. Because of these points, I didn’t weigh out the pros and cons of being at home all the time and looking back, I really wish I did.

Speaking from experience, working in the same 4 walls, looking out of the same windows and having the same surroundings during your working hours and your home life can be very… samesy but you also become very comfortable. You start to feel safe inside your 4 walls, looking out of your window and being surrounded with your familiar things and the outside world starts to look scary and uninviting. Anxiety starts to creep in and makes a comfy home for itself in your mind.

Finding Your Third Place

So what can you do to stop that feeling? You can find your Third Place. Author Ray Oldenburg details in his book ‘The Great Good Place’ that Third Places are important for civil society, democracy, civic engagement and establishing feelings of a sense of place. Your home is referred to as your First Place, your Second Place is your place of work and your Third Place is where you relax in public, where you encounter familiar faces and make new acquaintances. A place that isn’t home or work. A place where you can unwind and be present with yourself, or with a group of people. A place that makes you happy. And this can be anywhere you see fit; community centre, a workout class, your local pub, your favourite coffee shop or, my personal Third Place, a library.

If, like me, the thought of being somewhere noisy and over-crowded makes you want to crawl under your covers and hibernate, a local library, such as Lincoln’s central library, is the perfect Third Place for you. You can unwind and enjoy a coffee whilst delving into some of the greats- Dickens, Austin or Shakespeare as well as a plethora of local history. No one said you couldn’t make new acquaintances with fictional characters or people who once walked the streets you walk today. But even if some days you feel like conversing with an actual human, a lot of Libraries do have groups or events taking place where you can meet and converse with people.

Why A Library Is The Perfect Third Place

In his book, Oldenburg details his views on how Third Places can be summarised into 8 categories… and your local library fits into each one of them!

• A neutral ground with no obligation to be there- when you join a library, they do not have rules set out about how many times you must attend or how long you must stay. You can be there as little or as much as you want. You want to just pop in and borrow or return a book? Great! You want to sit and read a book in a quiet atmosphere? Amazing, come on in. You want to come in and use the Wi-Fi to complete some coursework? Be our guest.
• Leveller (a levelling place)- anyone can join the library and that’s what makes it so beautiful. Any person from any walk of life are welcome and you might just find a new friend in someone you never previously expected.
• Conversation is the main activity- when you think of a library, the first thing you probably hear is someone ‘shushing’, but in more modern libraries there are social areas as well as quiet spaces for those who prefer a more serene setting. Whether you’re more into the social or quiet areas, you are all there to do one thing. Learn. And what does learning do? Creates conversation.
• Accessibility and accommodation- a library is like your own personal Room of Requirement. Whatever you need, you’re going to get. There will be cosy nooks for some quiet reading, tables and chairs for those coursework cram sessions, WIFI for all your researching needs and even a space to keep your children entertained. You will also find that all libraries have the relevant adaptions for people with disabilities to be able to utilize the library freely.
• The regulars- people are creatures of habit and library goers are no exception, so you will often see the same faces week in week out, but I think that adds to the charm. You will also become familiar with the staff and share conversations with them too as they get to know you and your interests. As I mentioned before, libraries do host events and activities which will bring in those regular faces as well as some new ones (who will probably end up becoming regulars too!)
• A low profile- many people can walk past a library, often with it’s beautiful architecture, and not take any notice of it (unfortunately). Libraries are not often spoken about as the ‘place to be’ and you will rarely see any promotions for your local library, making it the best low profile place in town.
• The mood is playful- you hear ‘library’, you probably don’t think ‘playful’ but you would be wrong. Libraries play host to many fun activities for adults and kids alike such as story times, workshops, craft sessions, and my local library even host ‘Lego mornings’ which are so fun for all ages!
• A home away from home- libraries are made to feel warm and calming, inviting you to stay just that little bit longer. Cosy reading nooks and comfortable seating areas are created, hot beverages are offered and even a conversation or two, should you feel so inclined. Atmosphere aside, you will be surrounded by stacks of literature just waiting for you to get lost in. You might even find your home away from home in one of them. I’ve found mine in Hogwarts.

Give it a go yourself. Visit your local library and see if it’s your perfect Third Place. I’ll see you there.